You are doing your best to push me away. And you know what? I’m finally going to do you a favor and not push back.

I deleted some previous posts because I'm quite particular about blog posts looking untidy and well, they looked pretty sloppy. I also changed my blog skin because I think changing a new blog skin will probably encourage me to blog more often, though I know I won't be because I have to study for 'O's for this one month. Today will be the last day that I'm going to be online often, maybe I'll allow myself once a week to use the computer so I won't go mad without Vampire Diaries and Kaichou-Wa Maid Sama.

I was ranting just now on Twitter about my parents being biased. I mean like, how many of us who has younger siblings or male ones, don't think that our parents are biased to them? Even if you guys want to be, please be more discreet and not make biased comments in front of me. Gets me so pissed every single fucking time. Every time I want to get something, you won't get it for me. But when my brother asks for it, you'll buy it willingly for him. You say that I don't contribute much to the family, but does he, really? He wastes your electricity bills on Blackshot but you don't really care at all. When I got hospitalized or I felt really horrible and was puking my guts out at home, only my mom and granny came for me. My dad was still happily at his bloody thousand-dollar fish pond feeding his fishes.

I have never asked you for anything in my whole entire life and that was the first time I actually asked you for something, Dad. You straight-away rejected me. I don't ask for anything in this fucking family. I don't even ask for money when I go out with my friends, unless it's school events like prom. You guys are so fucking stingy when it comes to me but when it comes to my brother, you spend so much on him. How fair is that?! Plus, you don't even ask about my results. You don't know when my exams are going to be held. You guys don't give a shit about my life except for when I'm coming home late, or I'm late for school. Or something bad happens and I'm involved in it. All you guys do is to scold me and say that I'm spoilt because I want so many things. But have you wondered, what the definition of spoilt is? You guys don't fucking go shopping with me, get me stuff like normal female parents do. Even if that happens, you will get things for youself. How many times do you actually go shopping with me and get something for me instead of me being your shopping-bag carrier? Maybe once in a year? Or none at all. You have no idea how envious I am when I read about girls going shopping with their moms and buying stuff back, enjoying themselves while I'm lugging bags and bags of your things back home. -____-

You know what? I'm not going to fucking care anymore. Because I don't matter to you guys anyway.

I envy happy families.